Ok, this is very long, because well I've worked the same summer job for 4 years and have had a lot of experience working with irritating customers. I don't know what it is, but something happens within the amusement park world of Six Flags. When entering the park the Guests go through some kind of drainage to their brain. Maybe it happens when they walk through the metal detectors I don't know. All I know, is that all common sense and intelligence is gone when they get inside. The only form of intelligence lies within the minds of the employees and sometimes that's not even so. I will never understand it.
So, the company I work for sells two major items. They are called the Sno Biz Sno cone (shaved ice) and the Sno Biz Slush (a drink). They both come in a cup. The sno cone comes in a short cup with a spoon and the slush in a tall cup with a straw. They cost 4.19, but 4.48 with tax. There are twelve flavors that you can choose from with a maximum of two on whatever you get. In the stand that I work at there are two signs with a picture of each item. Sno cone on the left sign, slush on the right sign. Printed on both signs is the company name Sno Biz, but on the slush sign it also has the word slush. Then printed on a huge sign hanging on the back of the stand it says Sno Cone 4.19, Slush 4.19.
Now can someone please tell me why the Guest will come up to the stand and ask, "Can I get a grape Sno Biz?"
Then why when I ask, "Sno cone or slush?" they want to give me a dumbfounded look like I just said something in a foreign language?
Hello! Do you want a Sno cone or Slush???
So, I'll usually turn to the picture, point and in my slowest voice I'll say, "Would you like a snooooo cone or a sluuuuush?"
The customer will then stare blankly; with a dumbfounded look at the pictures and respond with, "Um...I just want a sno biz."
So, the confusion ensues for a good ten minutes. I'm not kidding! I'll repeat the question and point at the pictures then they'll ask, "Well, what was that in the cup that you made the person before me??? I want that."
"They both come in a cup."
"Well, I want the ice thingy. You know the Sno Biz."
"No, sorry I don't know!"
"The shaved ice."
"You want a SNO CONE!"
"Ok, yea I want...the Sno Biz."
It is important that we find out exactly what they want, because I have had customers who say they want a Slush and then when I give it to them they get mad because they wanted a Sno Cone. I then have to throw out the Slush and make a Sno Cone. I find it funny. I laugh about it all the time. I even laugh at the different names people have come up with for the sno cone...
- Sno Biz
- Sno Biz-ness
- Sno Ball
- Sno Mountain
- Crushed Ice
- Hawaiian Ice
- Italian Ice
- Frozen Ice
- Ice Mountain (we sell bottles of water with that name so there can be confusion)
- Ice thingy
- Slush puppy
- Slush (the name of the other product)
- That Thing You Just Made
What cracks me up are the people who come up to the stand like they're a regular at a bar.
"Hey, how's it goin'? Let me get a cherry."
"A cherry what??!"
*dumbfounded look again*
So, let's talk about the pretzel, another item we sell. A huge pretzel made of bread, covered in salt and costs $4.59 and that's with tax. It does not come with cheese. I repeat it does not come with cheese. They come frozen in a big box and we have to put them in the oven at the stand so they can cook. Frozen they take about a 25 minutes to fully cook. Thawed they can take about 15 minutes depending on the temperature of the machine. We sell out of them quick and in our oven there are usually pretzels that are done and pretzels that are not done.
So, sometimes we have a Guest who will buy the last pretzel that is cooked. Then the next customer who wants to buy one we have to tell them that the rest of the pretzels are not ready. Here's how the convo goes:
"Not ready??? What do you mean they're not ready???"
"They haven't cooked yet, sir."
"But you just sold the guy before me one!"
"Yes, he bought the last pretzel that was done."
"But what about those??" *points at the oven full of frozen pretzels* "Aren't they done??"
"Sir, those pretzels are NOT ready."
*Infamous dumbfounded look*
"Excuse me, miss, I would like a pretzel."
"Ok, that will be $4.59."
"Does it come with cheese?"
"Sorry, no it does not."
"What?! No cheese?? What do you mean no cheese???!! I'm paying $4.59 for a pretzel and I can't get cheese!!!!"
What the heck? Are they buying a pretzel or are they buying cheese?? LoL. It's not my fault they can't get cheese. The stand I work at does not have a machine to accommodate cheese.
Who knew that purchasing food items in a park could be so mentally difficult on the Guests?
Ok, so besides lacking the skills to think clearly, the Guest lack simple manners. Big time.
A Guest walks up to the counter and I greet them with a smile and a hello.
They respond in their rudest voice, “Let me get a pretzel.”
Ha! Can you be polite and at least give me a hello!
I keep my cool and tell them the price in my most pleasant voice. “It will be $4.59, sir.”
The Guest pulls out a wadded five dollar bill and throws it on the counter.
Oh no he didn't! Do I look like a stripper???
Count to 10…relax…smile!
"Here's your change, sir. [insert cheesy grin here] Have a nice day."
*cough* I hope you choke on your pretzel. *cough*
It's not just the adults. It's the children too. Hmm...I wonder where they get it from?
A fast (mature) nine year old girl comes up to my stand with her friends. I'm filling the ovens with churros and pretzels so my back is facing her. She bangs rapidly on the counter.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!!"
I turn around. "What!!!!!! I mean...how can I help you?"
*cheesy grin again*
"How much them pretzels cost?"
"Fo'-fifty nine!!! Dag! Yall stuff cost to daggone much! Yall need to come down on these prices! People ain't made of money!"
"Baby, this is Six Flags. Everything is expensive."
"So, what! You can get a whole box of pretzels for five dollars at the store."
"This is not a grocery store. Do you want to buy a pretzel or not?"
"Yall got cheese to go with them pretzels?"
"Pssh! Forget it!"
Oh, yes the joy and thrill of working at Six Flags. You know you want to be me. :D I'm thinking about one day getting together with some co-workers and writing a book. We will call it Six Flags for Dummies - Your Guide for Becoming an Intelligent Guest. There will be a chapter that will look something like this:
Chapter Six: Don't Ask, Don't Do
Questions You Should Never Ask
If you don't want a dumb response to your dumb question.
- Is the blue raspberry flavor blue?
- Is that reeeeaal snow??
- Do your hands get cold?
- Do you like your job?
- Can I get extra flavor on my sno cone?
- What do you have that cost a dollar?
- Can I get something for free?
Things You Should Never Do
If you don't want the employee spitting on your food.
- Throw money on the counter.
- Touch the bottles of flavor on the counter.
- Touch or take anything on the counter.
- Complain about the prices.
- Bang on the counter while in line behind the employee.
- Act like you should be treated like God.
LoL. Now don't get me wrong. We have some Guests that come to the park who have common sense. We love them. They are the kind of people who we want to give extra flavor to. They come up to our stand and respond in a cordial manner when we greet them. They use words like, please and thank you. Sometimes they even use our name! They know what they want and they know the name of the item. They don't accuse us of cheating them out of their change because they know everything has tax. They don't get mad at us, and they never forget that Six Flags is expensive.